Tuesday, October 25, 2005

The death of opposites

In a post mentioning death today, I have to mention Rosa Parks, a lovely and brave lady who changed our society for the better. She will be missed.

My mother-in-law went home to El Salvador Saturday. Last night, her sister died. She was run over by a car. It was, I imagine, a horrible death.

Jose was in a bad mood all morning and, of course, wouldn't tell me why. Since opening this business, he's had more than a few days of bad moods and I just thought it was the usual woe-is-me-we-don't-have-any-money bullshit and didn't worry about it. My parents came to eat with us this afternoon and he finally decided to tell me.

"If you want to know what's been wrong with me today, I'll tell you," he says.

"Oh he finally decides to tell me."

"My mom's sister died last night. That's why I've been in a bad mood. She hated me because she said I wasn't really part of the family, but it still makes me sad."

To clarify, Jose was abandoned on a doorstep when he was five months old and the lady he calls his grandmother took him in.

Ok. I guess he did have a reason. But my question is, if she hated him because he wasn't part of the family, why make a big deal of it all day? He even said that he never saw her much because she didn't live nearby.

Now, is he stupid or is he just a very good person? If it were me, I would be sad but it wouldn't ruin my day. Why put so much energy into someone who always treated you like shit?

But this is the story of his life. The only person who didn't treat him like shit is his grandmother who he (rightfully) treats like gold, but along with her he treats all the other assholes around her equally well. I don't get this. I understand he probably has issues, but damn. Stop obsessing over people who only want to fuck up your (and my) life.

I never have and never will understand this. Is he just that much better of a person than me or is he that much more misguided? I mean, I can forgive people, but only if they stop doing what they were doing and actually act like they may have done something wrong. I can't if they keep doing the same thing and actually get worse. It's like rewarding a dog for pooping in your shoes. If you pat her head and scratch her ears, she'll do it again. If you let her know she did something wrong, she may do it again but at least she won't be so happy about doing it.

Sheesh. Am I wrong here?

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